Whenever people hear we have adopted, they always ask us why. I think we get asked why we adopted even more often, and with even more confusion, because we have older biological children. So people are always SO surprised that since it is obvious that since we are able to make babies that we adopted. We are met with this question so often, and the answer is crazy simple.
Adoption was always part of our family plan, and it was also meant to be for us. Adoption was never an if, but a when for our family. We just always knew.
Since I do have both biological and adopted children, I am in this unique place were I can 100% say that it is similar to just knowing. If you are a mother, I bet you know the feeling of one day just knowing that you could picture yourself pregnant and having a baby. This was the exact same way for me. I knew that I would have children of my own, and I just knew that I would also adopt.
When Beau and I started dating, the topic of kids started right away because I was already a mother to Brix (1 year old at the time). As we talked, I was so happy to hear that he felt in his heart that he was meant to be a father to both biological children and adoptive children.
**Side note: I hate distinguishing between kids by saying biological and adoptive, because they honestly are exactly the same and family is for sure not defined by genetics. However, for this post I feel like I have to use those terms otherwise it won’t make sense.
I am so blessed to have a body that is healthy, strong, disease free. I am so blessed to be able to get pregnant. I am so blessed that I have two perfect boys that I was able to carry. I don’t ever want to come across as ungrateful, or unaware of what I do have.
That being said, I had horrible pregnancies. Sickness aside, with Brix I was hospitalized for 12 weeks. We are talking extremes here, had to lay flat the whole time, unable to even get up to pee. His foot was even sticking out (omg the looks on the doctors face!). I went through such trauma during that pregnancy, they prepared me for his death and asked me really hard questions for any 21 year old to deal with. Like “would you like time with his body/how much time?” Etc. Thankfully he wasn’t extremely early, and only had a few weeks stay in the NICU. Point is, he is here, and he is healthy, and alive, and a smart, loud 8 year old boy now!
After Beau and I got married, we weren’t sure how my body would respond to another pregnancy. Since I had only had been pregnant once, no one knew if it was a random thing, or if every pregnancy would be like that. So we gambled, rolled the dice, and I got pregnant with Finn.
Thanks to modern medicine I was able to only attend weekly hospital check ins, and stay out of being admitted to the hospital! The thing that saved my second pregnancy was injecting myself twice a day with progesterone. Finn was born only 3 weeks early, and only stayed one week in the NICU! He is now a 5 year old chatter box! The bummer was that the progesterone made me insanely sick to the point of needing fluids in the ER twice a week…oh and I became allergic to it so now I can never use it again.
The point of me telling you my personal pregnancy history is because it really helped push us to the when of adopting. We always knew our family would have adoptive children, but after learning of my allergy it helped us know that from that point forward we were meant to adopt the rest of our babies!
Miss my first post about adoption? Read all about Baby Girl Here
Also published on Medium.